A Look at St. Louis Cuisine

Since I'm a non-native St. Louisian, I think my perspective about this town's cuisine has a more objective tinge to it than born and bred StL dwellers.

Thus, I offer a critique of the distinctive cuisine of St. Louis.

Exhibit A: The Pork Steak
I appreciate the drive to eat more fatty cuts of pork since the pork industry, driven by the demand for lean meat during the various health crazes in our country, has bred swine to be incredibly lean, so lean that pork is easy to overcook, which creates meat that has the consistency of shoe leather coupled with a bland taste. Damn you Iowa State University hog researchers! Damn you all to hell! Regardless, the pork "steak" is pathetic and overrated. And that term ("steak") is nothing but a euphemism for "It's a crappy cut of pork, so let's gentrify it with the term 'steak.'" It's comparable to the Bush administration's "Clear Skies" initiative--use emotionally laden terms for subterfuge. Sure, a pork steak is good when you're drunk (Haven't we all been there, my friends?), but other than when one's taste buds are "comfortably numb," it is what it is: a bad piece of meat typically drowned in barbecue sauce (Maul it) to mask its shortcomings.

Exhibit B: Toasted Ravioli
First, it ain't toasted. Second, the typical StL dweller has gotten used to the low grade "toasted ravs," the ones that have a hockey puck texture at the edges and bland flavorless meat inside. I've had good toasted ravioli at a few establishments on the Hill, but other than those places the "app" is overplayed on menus and overesteemed among StL residents. Most restaurants don't get it right.

Exhibit C: St. Louis Style Pizza
I have to admit, I like the thin crust and the square slices, but I'm not a huge fan of provel cheese, a pastuerized process cheese hybrid of cheddar, Swiss, and provolone. To some folks who haven't acquired the taste or never want to, they find provel repulsive. Kudos to the crust (but that doesn't mean I want all my pizza that way), but how 'bout some "fuckin' muzzarelli, Sal!" (apologies to Spike Lee).

Exhibit D: Crab Rangoon
I had sometime tell me in college (Truman State) that St. Louis restaurants "invented" crab rangoon, a statement I took as asinine and bizarre. I've eaten at Chinese restaurants all over, and let me tell you, they offer crab rangoon, and I highly doubt St. Louis restaurants created it. Call me crazy, but I think the CHINESE or Chinese-Americans might have that claim to fame.

Exhibit E: The Italian Salad
It seems many mid-range Italian restaurants (the ones that should have Italian pronounced as "eye-talyan") in the area have a similar salad dressing. I don't know what exactly this concoction consists of, but it's good--usually tangy and flavorful but not heavy. The StL seems to do this right.

Exhibit F: Anheuser-Busch products
Well, I think I'll save this one for another post in the future.

Since I've been pretty critical above, here are some places I think are doing great jobs in the area (food related), ones that could be deemed, "distinctly St. Louis":
K&W Sausage Co.
Schlafly Beer, Bottleworks, and the Tap Room
Ted Drewe's
The various bakeries and delis on the Hill
Mom's Deli

A Great Story Told by Coach "Bear" Bryant

Thanks to shooterk from TiderInsider.com for the story.

At a TD club meeting many years before his death, Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant told the following story, which was typical of the way he operated:

"I had just been named the new head coach at Alabama and was off in my old car down in South Alabama recruiting a prospect who was supposed to have been a pretty good player, and I was havin' trouble finding the place. Getting hungry, I spied an old cinder block building with a small sign out front that simply said 'Restaurant.'

I pull up, go in, and every head in the place turns to stare at me. Seems I'm the only white fella in the place. But the food smelled good, so I skip a table and go up to a cement bar and sit. A big ole man in a tee shirt and cap comes over and says, 'What do you need?' I told him I needed lunch and what did they have today? He says, 'You probly won't like it here; today we're havin' chitlins, collard greens, and black-eyed peas with cornbread. I'll be you don't even know what chitlins are, do you?'

I looked him squre in the eye and said, 'I'm from Arkansas. I've probly eaten a mile of them. Sounds like I'm in the right place.' They all smiled--he left to serve me up a big plate. When he comes back he says, ' You ain't from around here then?' And I explain I'm the new football coach up in Tuscaloosa at the University, and I'm here to find whatever that boy's name was, and he says, 'Yeah, I've heard of him; he's supposed to be pretty good. And he gives me directions to the school so I can meet him and his coach.

As I'm paying to leave I remember my manners and leave a tip--not too big to be flashy, but a good one, and he told me lunch was on him, but I told him for a lunch that good I felt I should pay. The big man asked me if I had a photograph or something he could hang up to show I'd been there. I was so new that I didn't have any yet. I really wasn't that big a thing back then to be asked for, but I took a napkin and wrote his name and address on it and told I'd get him one. I met he kid I was lookin' for later that afternoon, and I don't remember his name, but do remember I didn't think much of him when I met him. I had wasted a day, or so I thought.

When I got back to Tuscaloosa late that night, I put that napkin from my shirt pocket and put it under my keys so I wouldn't forget it. Hell, back then I was excited that anybody would want a picture of me. And the next day we found a picture and I wrote on it, 'Thanks for the best lunch I've ever had, Paul Bear Bryant.'

Now let's go a whole bunch years down the road. Now we have black players at Alabama and I"m back down in that part of the country, scouting an offensive lineman we sure needed. Y'all remember, (and I forget the name, but it's not important to the story), well anyway, he's got two friends going to Auburn, and he tells me he's got his heart set on Auburn too, so I leave empty-handed and go on and see some others while I'm down there. Two days later I'm in my office in Tuscaloosa and the phone rings and it's this kid who just turned me down, and he says, 'Coach, do you still want me at Alabama?' And I said, "Hell yes I do.' And he says, 'OK, I'll come.' And I say, 'Well son, what changed your mind?' And he said, 'When my grandpa found out that I had a chance to play for you and said no, he pitched a fit and told me I wasn't going nowhere but Alabama, and wasn't playing for nobody but you. He thinks a lot of you and has ever sine y'all met.' Well, I didn't know his grandad from Adam's housecat, so I asked him who his granddaddy was and he said, 'You probably don't remember him, but you ate at his restaurant your first year at Alabama, and you sent him a picture that he's had hung in that place ever since. That picture's his pride and joy, and he still tells everybody about the day Bear Bryant came in and had chitlins with him. My grandpa said that when you left there, he never expected you to remember him or to send him that picture, but you kept your word to him, and to Grandpa that's everything. He said you could teach more than football, and I had to play for a man like you, so I guess I'm going to.'

I was floored. But I learned that the lessons my mama taught were always right. It don't cost nuthin' to be nice. It don't cost nuthin' to be do the right thing most of the time, and it costs a lot to lose your good name by breakin' your word to someone. When I went back to sign that boy, I looked up his Grandpa, and he's still running that place, but it looks a lot better now, and he didn't have chitlins that day, but he had some ribs that woulda made Dreamland proud, and I made sure I posed for a lot of pictures , and don't think I didn't leave some new ones for him too, along with a signed football. I made it clear to all my assistants to keep this story and these lessons in mind when they're out on the road. And if you remember anything else from me, remember this: It really doesn't cost anything to be nice, and the rewards can be unimaginable."

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Greeting and Salutations

Well, since I'm a wannabe Luddite, this blog thang is a big step for me.

Nevertheless, I have plans for this little sounding board of mine--discussion of Politics in the St. Louis metro area, the state of Missouri, nationally, and internationally; Sports, particularly baseball and college football (Roll Tide); Environmental Issues; and random musings on the state of the universe, or at least my warped perception of it.

So it goes.